5 steps to summer success…

Towards the end of July, most school children in UK received their end of year report card. Remember those days? Well, being on the flip side, I didn't personally feel the joy or worry that comes with this kind of assessment - BUT it did inspire me to think about how I would be assessed against my targets for 2014 at this stage. 

Seeing as I love a good audit (as anyone who's read Happily Ever After for Grown-Ups will know) - it became a prompt for me to imagine my end of term report... and it was a great exercise. In summary, it was a little bit like this: 

Goal (NB: Phrased here in a very general way – don’t worry…I have these in a more specific, measurable way!)	Assessment Grade	Effort Grade (where 1 is excellent and 4 leaves much to be desired!)
Career development	B-	2
Health & Fitness aspirations	C+	2 / 3
Focus on family and friends	B	2
Adventure / fun	B	2
Gratitude	B+	1

To have a fair idea, you first need to know what your targets are - and it's most likely that these will involve recognition / clarity about your New Year's Resolutions… and if you weren’t clear then, why don’t you get clear now. 

What might yours be like? 

Looking (way back) towards my school days, I had to really work hard to achieve the A grades I wanted and these days it’s no different. Not only can it be difficult but is also a strategic approach needed in going for your goals… but when you really want something – it’s certainly worth that effort… and this is a GREAT time to focus in this way.

Why? Well, it’s summer time (at least in this hemisphere) and it’s a time when we tend to switch off a bit – and maybe even take a much needed vacation. Some people see relaxation as being the opposite of productivity but I’m a firm believer that it’s quite the opposite – and can be all about recharging your batteries… and perhaps even doing some reassessing if you have stepped off (or slowed down) the “daily life” treadmill.

With that in mind, here are just a few things for you to do this summer – to move forward with your aspirations during this ‘slower’ season while getting some summertime rest and of course having some summertime fun at the same time:

1. Your report: Do the exercise above – assessing where you are at the moment – taking the time to remind yourself what is important to you and why it’s worth keeping up the hard work.
2. Get active: Take a walk around your neighbourhood (or a run… if you’re that way inspired like my friend Elelta, creator of the “Joy Run”). Take deep breaths, appreciate the sights you don’t normally take the time to appreciate and get back home rejuvenated.
3. Reconnect: Contact 3-5 friends / family members that you’ve been meaning to get in touch with recently (no, I didn’t read your mind… we ALL have those good friends that have been in absentia because of mutually busy lives). Reach out. Sort it out. Have a good time.
4. Have a break from the norm: It might not be able to be a two week vacation on a beach for you right now but take a break from your regular work-life routine. The aim here is to spice up what you regularly get up to… and although you could do a gorgeous spa weekend with your loved one/s – these activities don’t actually have to cost much. You can go visit an out of town friend for the weekend (which also fulfils the aims in #3) for example… and enjoy whatever summertime fun your city has to offer. For me, that’s the Notting Hill Carnival which is coming up in two weeks – so excited!
5. Reflect: Make a note of things you’re grateful for AND things you have achieved in 2014 that you are proud of. Please do stop to do this in the summer while the pace has slowed down a bit. I bet things have happened in your life that you didn’t take the time to pat yourself on the back about. Take the time now (and don’t just think about them – write them down)

Now you are ready to crack on with the rest of 2014 – your head held high, rejuvenated from reconnecting with some important people in your life, having had a bit of time to rest and reflect and with a new found sense of gratitude – ready to keep on trucking towards those plans… and ensuring you enjoy the journey.

Watch out 2014… s/he’s back!

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Gina Visram is a career coach, speaker, mentor and author who works with career driven people in relationships and couples who are ready to work hard at being successful in their careers and personal lives - on their own terms. She has recently published Happily Ever After for Grown Ups: A Post-Wedding, Blues-Busting Guide for Newlyweds" and is committed to helping people get over overwhelm and achieve the career success/life balance they seek. For more information and to sign up to her free newsletter visit www.limitlesscoaching.com. 

You can rock 2013! (Yes... I said 2013)

The nights are dark, the air is crisp and every other ad on TV mentions the words "this Christmas." Yup - the season to be jolly is approaching which means that the end of 2013 is imminent.

How has 2013 been for you? How far along did you get with any New Years Resolutions you set more than 11 months ago? Did you score the new job you were after? Gain the promotion you were working towards? Create a deeper, more supportive connection with your partner? Spend more quality time with your children? Have more fun with your friends? Lose that excess weight that's been bugging you?  Plan or go on the spectacular holiday you wanted?

Yes? Yay you! There really is not much else that is as satisfying as moving closer and closer to these sorts of goals if they help you create the kind of lifestyle you want.

If you've not quite gotten there yet and are already Thinking "it didn't happen this year but I'll DEFINITELY make it happen in 2014" then I would like to stop you in your tracks. Whoa there! "I'll make it happen next year?!" Your resolve is commendable but you have forgotten one thing. There are (just under) 7.. Yes nearly 7 weeks of 2013 left. You know his much can happen in 7 weeks? Lots - to put it mildly - so with that in mind I would like to share 7 ways that you can progress further to your goals in the last 7 weeks of 2013. 

1. Look for a quick win: Are you close to achieving one of your goals but not quite there yet?  If you've been wanting to spend more quality time with someone for example call them now. This moment. Set a date for 2013. Boom... done.

2. Break it down: No... I'm not encouraging a funky 80s dance move but I am encouraging you to split your goal into parts. For example, if - like a few of my clients - you are working towards gaining your doctorate or your masters, please don't beat yourself up if you didn't complete it in 2013 as you had hoped. Sometimes life really does get in the way or you have been missing the motivation. Whatever the case, don't just decide this is a 2014 goal now. Decide what you can still do this year to progress your goal. Can you write or plan your literature review? Progress your research by booking a few interviews into the diary? Set aside a day or 2 in the library to get away from it all and force yourself to write (you may even find its less busy with everyone focused on shopping for the holidays!). There is no shortage of things you can do to focus and achieve an aspect of your overall goal this year - and you'll be so proud that you did.

3. Make a plan for the coming week/s. At this time of year, the diary may fill up fast with festive fun - which is fantastic in ways but not fruitful of you still have some things to achieve this year. With that in mind, plan your week to ensure you are diarising 'goal time' as if you don't - that time will be swallowed up.

4. Book a meeting: As most goals involve an ally in some way - book a meeting with that person. That can work for most goals! Book a meeting with the person who will help you make it happen. That could be a personal trainer for a weight loss goal, your coach for a business goal, your manager for a career progression goal, your parents or friends for a goal that requires you to have more support from your networks - you name it and there will be someone who can get you closer to it. Make that meeting today!

5. Tell a friend: this may involve posting info about the goal on social media or just verbally telling a friend or two. When you speak your goals - they become alive! When you speak them to friends, you become accountable as although you won't have the structure and focus that you'd get from a coach, you will have them then asking you how you're getting on with it. Accountability greatly helps action. Phone a friend!

6. Write it down: While its helpful to speak a goal it is ESSENTIAL to write it down. Physically write it. Whether its on your iPad or a piece of paper - write or down. There's huge power in getting it out of your head and onto paper.

7. Make yourself a promise: promise yourself that within the next 7 weeks you will take active steps as per the above towards making something happen so while you look forward to 2014 - you have the momentum of very recent goal achievement success in 2013.

I'd LOVE to know what your remaining 2013 goal is, what you think of the above, what you are going to try and any results you have from implementing these steps. Please do share below! 

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Gina Visram is a career coach, speaker, mentor and author who works with ambitious, multi-tasking individuals and couples who are ready to work hard at being successful in their careers and personal lives - on their own terms. She has recently published Happily Ever After for Grown Ups: A Post-Wedding, Blues-Busting Guide for Newlyweds" and is committed to helping people get over overwhelm and achieve the career success/life balance they seek. For more information and to sign up to her free newsletter visit www.limitlesscoaching.com. 

Getting Unstuck: 3 Tips to breaking free

Stuck in the mud was a fun concept as a kid. Do you remember this primary school playground
favourite? For those of you who need a reminder - the concept of stuck in the mud (as we played it) was that you had one person who was "It" and the rest of the participants aimed to escape being caught. Once caught however, the player was stuck in the mud and was unable to move. Stuck. No movement. No going forward. No falling backwards. Stuck. They needed to stay put - legs slightly apart (second position distance for the childhood ballerinas among you) and you stayed there - stuck in the mud - until another player rescued you by tagging you and crawling through the gap between your feet. This game gave us hours of fun through my young childhood and it may have been the same for you.

Fast forward to adult hood and the concept of being stuck isn't so much fun. It certainly doesn't feel like a game... And unfortunately, especially for mid career professionals and even sometimes for those quite early in their career but a few years into a job - this feeling of being stuck (and too still for comfort) is quite common.

So what do you do? Are you content to stay stuck or do you crave movement of some kind?

For those of you ready to move, here are 3 tips for becoming "unstuck":

1. Do something different
Often feeling stuck can relate to monotony. Your routine may look like any of these. You go to work, you go home. You go to work, you go to a fitness class, you go home. You wake up the kids, make breakfast, rush out the door and do the school run, go into work, come home and make dinner, go to bed. These are all different scenarios and whether you are following one which looks like this or one which doesn't - if you can describe the vast majority of your day to day and week to week process as a 'routine', you may need to do something different in order to get getting unstuck. Go to a (different) dance class, start training for a charity run, meet up with your university buddies, babysit for a friend, have lunch with a mentor, do something touristy in your city... It really doesn't matter exactly what you do but you just need to commit to doing something different to avoid monotony.

2. Take a break
Related to the first tip -taking a break is one of the best ways to do work towards becoming unstuck. This doesn't have to be a 2 week vacation on a beach (though that would be great if you could swing it!) but it can be a one night spa break with some friends or even just a one-day out of town trip. Get out of town, take in some different air, and enjoy the break in routine. Sit on a pier and watch the world go by. Have a picnic in a park. Whatever you do... Do also make sure this is a break from technology too where you're fully enjoying your own company or the company of the people you're with. No emails. No facebook and twitter. Just you and the break you deserve. With the break will come some clarity and with clarity - informed, more intuitive decision making can follow.

3. Enlist support

First, a disclaimer:  Enlisting support is not a free pass to moan and complain to whoever will listen (i.e. Just bi***ing to your friends does it count)... But a well thought out, constructive support system is often a crucial step in becoming unstuck. Why? Well... Have you ever had an experience where a someone has shared a challenge and you felt confident to share useful insight? I bet you have... And you may even have received a response like "I never thought of that." Adversely, ever noticed though that if you had a similar challenge you were less likely to have the same useful insight about yourself? It's true (and common).

With that in mind, if you need to get unstuck, get support. Do not keep banging your head against a brick wall. Meet up with supportive girlfriends, talk to a parent or sibling, tap into the experience of a mentor (I did that years ago when I asked an ex-boss of mine to review my CV as I truly felt like I couldn't improve it further / didn't know where to go with it - and he was instrumental in helping me get unstuck)  hire a coach to stretch and challenge you - and more.

I hope these three tips connect with you... And even if they feel scary - that's quite a good sign as to get unstuck and move forward you need to stretch out of your comfort zone.

To sum up, a notion that one of my mentors, Lisa Sasevich, shared is great encouragement to do something to get unstuck. She quoted:

"A step in the wrong direction is better than staying on the spot all of our life. Once you're moving forward you can correct your course as you go. Your automatic guidance system cannot guide you when you are standing still... action is the secret sauce."

So - remembering that imperfect action is better than no action at all, I wish you luck in getting unstuck. Try some of the above... you'll be amazed how far you'll go!

*****

Want to use this article on your blog or ezine? No problem... you just need to include the below:

Gina Visram is a career coach, speaker, mentor and author who works with ambitious, multi-tasking women (and men!) who are ready to work hard at being successful in their careers and personal lives - on their own terms. She has recently published Happily Ever After for Grown Ups: A Post-Wedding, Blues-Busting Guide for Newlyweds" and is committed to  helping people get over overwhelm and achieve the career success/life balance they seek. For more information and to sign up to her free newsletter visit www.limitlesscoaching.com. 

Happy dances and holidays

On the Saturday of the Easter weekend, I raced to the door when I heard the mail drop through the letter box. Ignoring the other 3 items, I picked up a padded envelope and when I saw the identification stamp on the back, I felt my shoulders drop immediately. I exhaled, it was here… Just in time. I could relax as its arrival meant that I’d stay on track with my deadline.

As those of you who are part of the “Happily Ever After forGrown-Ups” community on Facebook will know – it was my final proof copy of my book that I received in the post. I ripped open the envelope and a wide smile immediately took residence on my face.

This moment inspired today’s post (and hopefully reading to the end will make you think and allow you to reward yourself with a fun video). 

Before I continue, I just want to emphasise that when patting yourself on the back isn’t a regular occurrence, it can feel strange to stop and – date I say – congratulate yourself, but that’s exactly what I did on Saturday morning. As I ran my fingers over the lettering of the title and looked at the book from every angle again and again – I could not quite believe that I had reached that point. After over a year of blood, sweat, tears and one helluva balancing act – I was nearing the finish line in the writing/publishing process. 

Alone at home, I found myself doing a little happy dance and as it felt so great, it got me thinking about why and how we should celebrate our successes – big and small – so check out these ‘happy dance’ worthy occasions

1. The obvious: Do a little jig to celebrate something you are proud of. This can be for something as big as completing a major project you’ve been working on to as (seemingly) little as choosing salad over chips for lunch if you’re trying to be healthy.
2. Feeling like you are making progress at work: You may be working towards your next promotion or pay rise… or may be determined to start feeling like you are doing your job at a standard you can be really proud of. Determination to do well is a fantastic quality and when you can help your employer recognise your good work (let’s face it – sometimes it’s necessary to point out what’s in front of their face!) – It’s a great moment. Celebrate it!
3. Getting together with a group of friends and / or family: You don’t have to be Carrie Bradshaw and the SATC (Sex and the City) girls to get together for a long leisurely lunch and drinks with your nearest and dearest. Try it. Book in a Saturday or Sunday lunch with some friends you want to catch up with – enjoy some awesome food and ignore your watches, phones, social media channels and more. Instead, focus on this group of friends and enjoy the quality time together. Certainly happy dance worthy.

I could continue (and include an example about how an upcoming surprise holiday for my husband is likely to be another happy dance moment), but I am much more interested in what your happy dance moments have been recently.  Go on… Share some of these moments via the comments box below. 

Remember, life can sometimes feel like it’s passing by at a speed due to our many responsibilities, commitments and sometimes even due to our incessant focus on our goals – but the journey becomes much more enjoyable when you take a moment to celebrate. Dance baby… dance (like Chandler and our favourite Friends in the video here) and remember to share your moments below)!

Happy Easter. Enjoy the rest of your Easter holiday. 

Want to use this article on your blog or ezine? No problem... you just need to include the below:

Gina Visram is a career coach, speaker, mentor and author who works with ambitious, multi-tasking women (and men!) who are ready to work hard at being successful in their careers and personal lives - on their own terms. She has recently published Happily Ever After for Grown Ups: A Post-Wedding, Blues-Busting Guide for Newlyweds" and is committed to  helping people get over overwhelm and achieve the career success/life balance they seek. For more information and to sign up to her free newsletter visit www.limitlesscoaching.com. 

Where did January go?

Do you remember having discussions about how hard it was to believe 2012 was already coming to an end. 

"Where did the year go?"

"2012 whizzed by... How did that happen?"

"It seemed like only yesterday that"... etc. 

You remember those conversations? They happened over office Christmas meals, seasonal drinks with your friends and festive meals with your families. Yet, here we are at the end of January already... Suggesting that 2013 may have the same Usain Bolt-esque speed that we experienced last year.

Whether or not you officially set yourself some resolutions / goals within the first month of the year, chances are, you at least paused to think about what you wanted 2013 to bring.

How is that going for you?

Here we are, past the alleged Blue Monday (3rd Monday in January - deemed to be a common day for giving up on new years resolutions), and on the cusp of the second month of the year. Even if you aren't a structured resolution or goal setter, I bet you still don't want the year to pass by without feeling like you've moved (edged, even) closer to your aspirations in some way. Whether its leaps and bounds or the slow but steady approach, don't let 2013 come to an end with only fireworks to make you say ooh and aaah.

My wish for you is that some of that incredulity is saved for your own special achievements this year. Whether that's earning a promotion, finding a new job, getting onto the dating scene, improving your health and fitness, going on a trip you've always dreamed of or starting your own business - achieving this aspiration won't be achieved without some effort.

For me, there are a few personal and professional goals that I would like to achieve, some of which I am happy to share with you.

1. Complete,  publish and promote my first book - Happily Ever After for Grown Ups (a career coaching book for newlyweds that I've been working on, on and off for 15 months and am now finished writing and approaching the production stage. Look out for it in March / April!

2. Quit the gym (yup... You gotta work out what suits you and what doesn't! - paying and not going doesn't!) and get back into dancing (belly dance and bollywood here I come!)

3. See and speak to friends more regularly (more face to face time than Facebook time)

This is just a few of many for me, and I've recently hired a coach to help me achieve a number of my business focused goals, of which there are many. Yup... Even coaches hire coaches! I'm a firm believer in the process which is why I love working with clients who are serious about doing, not just hoping - and I take the same approach when it comes to my own goals.

What about you? What sorts of things are you wanting to do? What will make this a game changing year for you? What can you do if you want to accelerate your progress? Here we are, already rapidly moving through 2013 with January already out of the way and it's up to you to make this thing happen.

Excited?