Let's hear it for the girls!

Being 2013, it would be good to feel like we recognise the achievements of women every day, but this still isn’t necessarily the case. Luckily, in the past few weeks, we’ve had a few built in occasions such as “International Women’s Day” and “Mothers’ Day” which encourage us to think about the amazing contribution women make… and hopefully these dates serve as triggers to remind us why we should celebrate the achievements of women all year round.

Amidst these very worthy celebrations of the achievements of women, there were a couple of moments in the past week that made me pivot between pausing proudly to ponder how far we've come and stopping firmly in my tracks… in realisation of how far we still have to go. These included:

1. An e-mail from a childhood friend
Last week, I received a beautiful email from a childhood friend of mine. She sent this email to a small group of her friendship circle, featuring women currently based in Europe, Africa, Asia, North America and beyond - all of whom she'd gone to school / university with at some point during her journey. In this email, she eloquently shared her news on a city move and an update about her job situation intertwined with mention of her evolving relationship. I had opened this message when on the go between appointments and found myself stopping in the rain to read and re-read this message. I smiled. Not just due to the fact that I'd received what felt like the equivalent of a personal letter in the post (like back in the day before postal content was more or less exclusive to bills, bank statements and takeaway menus!) but also because she seemed to be living the dream. Not in a million dollar mansion "baller" kind of way but in the modern, 21st century way of balancing your personal / relationship life with your career plans. Adventure, uncertainty, goal setting and more… it was all there. This didn't sound like the life of a girl who would be burdened with a series of what ifs. Instead, she was out there, living, loving and ensuring that she was making enough proactive decisions to ensure that life wasn't happening to her... She was actively living it. For that reason, I wanted to share that story today- just as a mini nudge if needed, to make sure you're living yours too!

2. A knee-jerk Facebook status
This encounter was also prompted by correspondence with a childhood acquaintance, but admittedly with the opposite, less heart-warming effect to what I have described above. On International Women's Day, this FB friend made a comment along the lines of "If I ever have a daughter, she won’t be posting quotes from ‘blank slates’ like Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn”. Instead, this Facebook contact of mine insisted that his future daughter wouldn’t cite inspiration as women “whose sole talent was in being pretty” and he instead suggested citing “Pankhurst or Marie Curie?”

What? I thought. WHAAAAT? I baulked at his objection, disagreeing on so many levels and here's the main one...

The idea that someone, be it a dad, brother or other (male) acquaintance may feel that he is in a position to be instructional regarding who inspires his (hypothetical) daughter scares me! The fact that Audrey Hepburn was actually a multi-lingual humanitarian is almost insignificant – it is the dictating of who should and who should be deemed inspirational that doesn’t feel acceptable to me. As current / future parents, we can ensure that we give our girls a wide range of role models, from mothers to politicians and more – but we belittle any progress we are making for women by restricting their thoughts. 

So… whether or not you were involved and tweeting about #IWD2013, celebrating Mothers’ day or whether these dates passed you by entirely earlier this month – I have a challenge for you. In the spirit of being true to who and what inspires you, tell three women in your life (these can be colleagues, friends, family etc.) why you admire them.  Do it before the end of March. Up for it? Do come back and share your story of how you got on…

3 reasons to LOVE your job

As much as some of us try to resist succumbing to a commercially driven day of 'love', it can sometimes be hard to resist getting swept up in the hype. A few years before meeting my gorgeous husband, I had one of my most enjoyable Valentines evenings ever. Sounds harsh but this wasn't with another man (not one I was romantically interested in anyway) but was with a group of - at the time - single work colleagues and we had a great rebellious, 'anti-Valentine’s day' dinner. It was much fun - but admittedly, still a nod (in our own way) to what is a commercially driven occasion.

The way I see it though is that taking a moment to think about something you love isn't a bad thing (unless V day is the one and only day that love is recognised... Then that is bad) - so, whether in a loved up relationship or not, why not recognise other things you love. Like your job for example. Tenuous? Maybe... But work with me here: 

3 reasons to love your job this Valentine’s week: 

1. It is aligned with your values and beliefs 
This is a biggie. If the job you are doing/career path you are pursuing doesn't align with your values and beliefs, it is likely that you'll never love what you do. Values represent what is important to you - they reflect your authentic self. Do you value kindness? Helping the community? Fun? Adventure? If you are in a role that resonates with your values, that’s a great reason to love your job. If you’re not…then do something about it!

2. It helps you live your life
Does your salary contribute to the lifestyle you are currently living? Yes… well good – that is yet another reason to love your job this Valentine’s week! Don’t get me wrong – if the only thing you value about your job is your salary and you’d want to change everything else then it may be time to see if you can find a more fulfilling role, but for now, take a brief moment to love what you currently have.

3. You get satisfaction from achieving your tasks
Through the work you do on a daily basis, you have the opportunity to do yourself proud. By working to the best of your abilities, every day you can pat yourself on the back and recognise that you are doing good work. Again, there is a chance that your role doesn’t challenge you as much as you would like – but nothing is stopping you from finding something that will stretch you to use your skills in a way that you can be especially proud of but for today… show yourself some love for what you do… currently do.

Valentine’s Day has been and gone and as a focus on ‘love’ is somewhat forced on us, why not take the opportunity to explore the elements of your career that you love. If in this analysis, you establish that you are truly grateful for the career you have – then congrats! If you have realised that you are some distance from where you want to be, I want to congratulate you too… if you take some deliberate steps to achieve the greater thing you know you are destined to do.

As ever, you are welcome to be in touch if you’d like some help to make it happen. I’d be happy to be part of your journey towards true (career) love! 

Where did January go?

Do you remember having discussions about how hard it was to believe 2012 was already coming to an end. 

"Where did the year go?"

"2012 whizzed by... How did that happen?"

"It seemed like only yesterday that"... etc. 

You remember those conversations? They happened over office Christmas meals, seasonal drinks with your friends and festive meals with your families. Yet, here we are at the end of January already... Suggesting that 2013 may have the same Usain Bolt-esque speed that we experienced last year.

Whether or not you officially set yourself some resolutions / goals within the first month of the year, chances are, you at least paused to think about what you wanted 2013 to bring.

How is that going for you?

Here we are, past the alleged Blue Monday (3rd Monday in January - deemed to be a common day for giving up on new years resolutions), and on the cusp of the second month of the year. Even if you aren't a structured resolution or goal setter, I bet you still don't want the year to pass by without feeling like you've moved (edged, even) closer to your aspirations in some way. Whether its leaps and bounds or the slow but steady approach, don't let 2013 come to an end with only fireworks to make you say ooh and aaah.

My wish for you is that some of that incredulity is saved for your own special achievements this year. Whether that's earning a promotion, finding a new job, getting onto the dating scene, improving your health and fitness, going on a trip you've always dreamed of or starting your own business - achieving this aspiration won't be achieved without some effort.

For me, there are a few personal and professional goals that I would like to achieve, some of which I am happy to share with you.

1. Complete,  publish and promote my first book - Happily Ever After for Grown Ups (a career coaching book for newlyweds that I've been working on, on and off for 15 months and am now finished writing and approaching the production stage. Look out for it in March / April!

2. Quit the gym (yup... You gotta work out what suits you and what doesn't! - paying and not going doesn't!) and get back into dancing (belly dance and bollywood here I come!)

3. See and speak to friends more regularly (more face to face time than Facebook time)

This is just a few of many for me, and I've recently hired a coach to help me achieve a number of my business focused goals, of which there are many. Yup... Even coaches hire coaches! I'm a firm believer in the process which is why I love working with clients who are serious about doing, not just hoping - and I take the same approach when it comes to my own goals.

What about you? What sorts of things are you wanting to do? What will make this a game changing year for you? What can you do if you want to accelerate your progress? Here we are, already rapidly moving through 2013 with January already out of the way and it's up to you to make this thing happen.

Excited?

Behind every President, there's a...

What a day. I write this post after having woken up in the wee hours (UK time) to see CNN International confirm that Romney and and Obama had just spoken on the phone. It took over an hour from the initial projection of an Obama win but this "short polite" conversation eventually took place. So what happens now? As the President (re) elect takes to the stage... we celebrate. We celebrate and we celebrate some more.

Not only is this a celebration of another historic win... but it's another moment to be reflective. Am I talking about the economy? The pros and cons of Obamacare? Whether or not Sandy had an impact on the result? Not today. I'm not a political analyst... but one thing I'm happy to observe (and comment on at least) is the recognition both candidates gave to their supporters - hence the name of this post.

Behind every President there are dedicated supporters, and it was my reflection on this point prompted me to deliver my very own PSA (public service announcement), so here goes:

Take a moment, stop and think about the people who support you. Then take the time to say THANK YOU! They are truly a welcome factor in your success. If you don't generally take the time to show your gratitude (which would not be uncommon due to how busy we all are), take the time now. Pick up the phone... drop them an email... send an effusive tweet... communicate in person (the latter may seem old school but it's often the best!). Do all of the above if you feel so moved, but do definitely take the time to thank your supportive network.

If you'd like to take inspiration from the President's speech this morning, before doing your own thank yous, have a look at these sentiments:

"You lifted me the whole way and I will always be grateful"

"I want to thank every American who participated in this election. Whether you voted for the very first time or waited in line for a very long time – by the way, we have to fix that – whether you pounded the pavement or picked up the phone, whether you held an Obama sign or a Romney sign, you made your voice heard and you made a difference."

"I have the best campaign team and volunteers in the history of politics."

and of course:

"I wouldn't be the man I am today without the woman who agreed to marry me 20 years ago."

The most re-tweeted photo ever as of 07/11/2012 - an image the President shared after being re-elected

So... after a long day for anyone who was following American politics (regardless of candidate preference), I just want to say thank you President Obama. Thank you for your ability to connect not just with your countryfolk but with those of us across oceans... and for reminding us to express gratitude to our supporters in our own lives (and here's to #4moreyears!)

If you missed his acceptance speech, you can view it here (coutesy of CNN):

Reconnect . the . dots

Have you ever felt disconnected from something that you would like to be more connected to? In my experience, today's fast paced world where the months and years fly by (I cannot believe it has been approx 6 months since I have posted here!) - sometimes you need to slow down to reconnect the dots - enabling you to re-engage with something important which has begun to take second (third, fourth or even last) place.

Have you ever felt that way? I know I have on a number of levels...

I write this post on a day when I am so appreciative to have reconnected with a school friend who I had not seen for 15 years. That's right... 15 years, and yet, as it always is with true friends, we caught up on half a lifetime without skipping a beat.

This felt like reconnecting the dots... and it made me wonder how many aspects of our life sometimes feel like they re temporarily disconnected... and wonder whether we take active steps to re connect.

I know how it is... we get busy; we have way too many things to do; the days, weeks and years rush by; we feel exhausted; and other things tend to get in the way. However, as I emerge from the high of having reconnected some friendship dots in my life, I feel compelled to encourage you to:

• Call your mum, dad, sibling, friend living across the Atlantic, university buddy - whoever it is that you have been meaning to catch up with for awhile
• Spend a day with your phone switched off so you can focus entirely on a task which has been escaping you or a person you have been meaning to catch up with
• Put petty arguments you may have had aside and reach out to someone you miss
• Stop merely existing (i.e. living weekend to weekend)... and take specific, determined, no-nonsense steps to reconnect your values with your career aspirations and make moves to make a closer connection with your plans
• Tell someone you love that you love them. Yes they know it, but stating the obvious can further strengthen that connection

As we move into the last third of 2012, take the time to work out what dots you would like to reconnect which will make you look back at your year with appreciation and affection. Do also feel free to share what you decide to do in the comment boxes below... I'd love to hear all about it!

Inspiration needed? Yes We Can!

Today I felt inspired.

This isn't necessarily an unusual occurance. I am blessed to have inspirational parents, students I work with, clients, friends, fellow coaches, other associates and via varying networks as well as Twitter, a veritable plethora of amaaaazing (yes... amaaaazing) entrepreneurs of all ages who do incredible, inspirational work every day.

Today's inspiration however came from a group of 5 boys from Orlando - under the age of 18.

Yup, although not yet of voting age, the group known as "Limitless" (no relation!) has created their own version of a "Yes We Can" election video, in support of Barack Obama's 2012 campaign. These boys do not yet have the right to vote... but they are so throughly engaged with their country's political process and indeed their support for the current president, that they took the time to do their bit to let the world know it.

So is there an ulterior motive? The cynics in you will note that these boys are trying to raise money for band equipment and are selling Obama re-election t-shirts that they have designed but in my eyes, this is only to be applauded. Entrepreneurship should be encouraged at any time, and especially when the state of the economy means that unemployment figures have the potential to be more and more discouraging... and entrepreneurship in the name of something you passionately agree with deserves a standing ovation.

My verdict? Nothing but congratulations to Limitless from Orlando who not only will hopefully raise the money for their group / band as they initially aimed, but will also engage people, whatever their political inclination, young and old, in what is an important political year not just for the US but for us all globally. Even moreso, congratulations for being a real inspiration and motivator for not just your young peers... but also for those of us who are *ahem* probably twice your age.

Yes We Can!

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Credit where it's due: Thanks to MNI Alive, the global Caribbean Connection website for bringing the original article to my attention. Check it out...

Resolutions vs. Promises

Within the last week or so, which of the following have you noticed?

• The gym is getting slightly less crowded yet you have regularly heard the phrase "I really should be going to the gym today" from your colleagues
• There is less resistance to a glass of wine after work
• Your fridge contains one of your favourite desserts... and less salad / notably healthy food
• The word detox comes up less frequently in conversations
• The bus is again deemed appropriate for a short trip up the road
• Nights in the office are getting slightly later
• Calls to members of your family are becoming less of a priority
• Keenness to budget is waning slightly

Heard / witnessed any of this? You are not alone.

It is not uncommon that even a mere 3 weeks into January, enthusiasm wanes and fervour for achieving fabulous New Year's resolutions ebb. The wanting remains but the correlating action becomes less and less frequent.

... and the naysayers love it! A large proportion of people profess not to make resolutions because they never work, and with that attitude, it's no wonder.

So... while I am not claiming that sticking to New Year's resolutions are easy... here are some tips to help you stay on track:

1. Change your vocabulary... immediately! As articles such as this one in the Herald Sun, this one in the Daily Mail and this (quite helpful one) in Forbes show... even people who still make resolutions often expect to break them before the end of the first month of the year. See the Forbes articles for some insightful solutions - but first take heed of this key piece of advice... do not use the word resolution again! It's tarnished. Scandalised... and even a little bit hopeless.

Instead, why don't you use the word "promise". Take a moment. Feel the power and the difference that makes. I bet you even let out a little sigh and dropped your shoulders a bit. A promise. Psychologically, that is a different thing entirely... a responsibility that you are less keen to let go casually.

2. Set yourself 'promises' that are within your control. For example, while it would be foolish of me to resolve that I will have my post wedding motivation coaching book published (through a traditional publisher) this year, I can promise that I will complete it within the first half of 2012 and actively search for an agent to represent me.

Another example would be to promise yourself that you will eat better (to be quantified, see #3) this year... in a bid to lose weight... or to leave the office by 6pm 3 times a week, unless there's a major project on.

3. Set SMART promises. You know the ones. Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time Phased. Give your promises deadlines and remember, that you can make promises to yourself year round. January is not your only opportunity to tweak, set, establish, reconfirm and... okay, I'll say it... resolve to achieve your aims

While the above is no guarantee of success... the move to work on your promises to yourself (as opposed to resolutions, the latter being something it is socially accepted and expected that you will fail at) will make a big difference. Try it!